EVERYONE is asking if I'm excited to find out what we're having. Really, that's not on my radar right now. For one, I'm irrationally certain that it's a boy. But besides that, my main focus is what this little one's personality will be. The two little people we have now could not be more different from each other. Realizing that each kid is different and that's just how God made them was a shock to me. I just assumed the second child would be as easygoing and obedient as the first because I took all the credit for Harris' good behavior. Ha! I needed to be humbled. Even as an infant, Walker was clearly a completely different child. The picture at the top makes me laugh because it exactly captures their differences. Cautious Harris would prefer that his pants not get wet, while Walker charges through, just ready for an adventure.
The Lord made them different because that's what our family needs. Another compliant child wouldn't strengthen our family like the strong willed one we were given. Now that Walker is really old enough to be more verbal and be more of a presence, it's been neat to watch that interaction unfold. Their differences are molding each of their character's (and ours!!) in a way that similar personalities wouldn't. Given the choice before-hand, I would have picked another mellow temperament. I'm so thankful I wasn't allowed to choose. My entire life right now isn't at all what I would have picked for myself and I wouldn't change any of it! The Lord's ways are infinitely better than mine and this is just another area where that is becoming clear because I wouldn't change one thing about either of my sweet little boys.
One woman wrote about this much more beautifully than I could.
http://momastery.com/blog/2012/01/13/on-gifts-and-talents-2/
She's talking about the gifts each child is given and how they shine in different ways. I agree with all of it. Every single bit.
So, armed with this information, I'm really curious to see what #3 will be like. We prayed for MONTHS about the decision to have a third and I know that this baby is just for us. Before I was pregnant, I wanted a girl. Now, after months of praying that the Lord would prepare my heart for this baby, I have a sense of peace either way. This baby uniquely belongs to our family and it will be just the right fit for us. This child and its individual personality will be better than anything I could have ever orchestrated. Just the right sibling for our boys and just the right child to parent, bringing a whole other dimension to our lives that we couldn't have anticipated. One baby changes your whole life and takes away the selfishness you didn't know you had. The second one makes you realize there's more room in your heart than you thought and that you DO love another little human as much as the first one, impossible as that seemed. The third will have its own lesson, I'm sure. So, boy or girl, I'm just excited to meet our new family member and fall in love all over again.
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.
Isaiah 55:8
DISCLAIMER-I wrote this several days ago, and in the meantime came to the realization that two kids was PLENTY and there was no way we could possibly manage three. I moaned around asking what we could have been thinking and wondering how in the world we would ever function as a family. Friends prayed me through it and I'm back to excitement. Just thought I'd share my meltdown in case anyone else had one.
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