Thursday, June 28, 2012

My Tribe

A few things have happened lately that made me really question if I was doing things right in some parenting decisions. Because frankly, I'm making this up as I go along. Sometimes when Tom leaves for the day I wonder who thought it was a good idea to leave me in charge. Yes, I read parenting books but they are ridiculously vague. Consistent, firm, calm, blah, blah, blah, but it never seems to have exact advice applicable to my dilemma at the time.  Looking for answers, I've googled silly things, like "when do they outgrow tantrums" and so on, thinking surely someone out there can tell me something. Throw me a bone, internet!

Then I realized.....I am the only expert in this situation. I know these people. I know that when Walker goes in his car seat, he wants to buckle himself in WITHOUT ASSISTANCE, so I have to have it all set-up before he gets in. I know to leave a towel by the refridgerator because Harris will sneak out at naptime to put more ice in his cup, but he spills in the process. I know from the way Hayes shuffles his feet if he just wants a change of scenery or if he needs a nap. I can tell from the other room what noises need immediate attention and which ones will go away on their own. This is my tribe and there is no one more qualified than me to care for them.

As I was thinking about this, the phrase came to mind, "God doesn't call the qualified, he qualifies the called." Exactly.  Some of the greatest people in scripture were train wrecks but they were still used for a purpose. David and Paul were murderers, Moses was terrified of public speaking, Jeremiah thought he was too young, etc.  He blessed us with these people, with these distinct personalities, and will equip us to raise them appropriately. My confidence has been a little shaken lately and resting in this knowledge is so peaceful. These are my kids for a reason and I'll be given the tools to raise them appropriately. But not on my own strength and not without time in prayer and scripture.

And, I keep saying "I" when talking about raising them because I'm mainly talking about the times Tom is at work. He's a very hands-on dad. No diaper is too stinky and no tantrum too crazy for him to tackle.

So, I guess we'll know in 40 years how they turn out. Until then, there seems to be an ecard appropriate for every situation.

And I'm going back to a scripture I really wanted to press into this year. I screwed this up in such a big way I'm not even ready to blog about it. It was ridiculous. A situation came up and pretty much any other way but the way I handled it would have been better. So, back to basics.

Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ.
Phillippians 1:27

Saturday, June 23, 2012

It's all downhill from here

Team Goolsby is doing well. Very well. We're over the hump and I'm starting to gain some confidence that maybe we can parent 3 children after all. Or maybe my expectations have dramatically lowered. Either way, the glass is half full right now.

Even on days when I look back and we really didn't do anything, we are B-U-S-Y. I think little people just go so much that even when it really wasn't busy, it still is, if that makes any sense.

Harris' school is out for the summer and I was so sad for him to leave his class. His teachers were fabulous and he was attached to them and to his classmates. School was so good for him. He became much more self confident and independent just in two mornings a week.  He's certainly not the same little boy that I dropped off in August, which BREAKS my heart but makes me so proud all at the same time.
First day:


The last day, they were having a luau party and were supposed to wear swimsuits. All I could sell him on was wearing flip flops. He was taking a stand against wearing a bathing suit to school and nothing could convince him that it was a good idea. There was one day there were supposed to wear pajama's and I had the same battle, which I should understand because I never like to do that kind of thing either. Pj's are what you wear in bed, bathing suits are what you wear in the pool. Period. He has my mentality on that, I guess, because he told me several times, "We're not SWIMMING at SCHOOL, mommy." He prounounces school "skull" so it's that much cuter in a 4 year old voice. Side note, I really hate those flip flops. They seemed like a good idea but look totally weird.

Walker is doing great, too. I was at the end of my rope one week and went into the rabbit hole of google to try to sort out his behavior. I ran across numerous things about red dye 40 and decided to try cutting that out of his diet and see what happened. It's linked to aggression and hyperactivity and not allowed in several other countries. I had pretty low expectations but was surprised. There was a big difference in just one day. Make no mistake, he is still two. There are still plenty of fits and lots of drama, but it seems like reasonable drama now. Before, there was aggression and downright rage along with it all that it really concerned me. He's just generally much more easy going. I can ask him to get his shoes and instead of throwing himself on the ground and screaming, he just gets them. That is huge. HUGE. This picture shows the difference in him.

I had asked him to smile and he did. Normally, asking him to smile for a picture was a suicide mission and would trigger instant meltdown. He's just much more cooperative. He still knows what he wants and doesn't want to settle for anything less, but that's just his personality. The rest of the time he's calmer and so much more agreeable. We took all 3 to an event at Tom's work the other night. We would NEVER have tried that before. Ever. It was a huge thing, like a giant fair. It involved crowds and walking around and Walker normally wouldn't have been able to be out in something like that without major meltdowns so we wouldn't have tried. But he'd been so much better that we got adventurous and did it. He was a rockstar. He held onto the stroller the whole time and just went with the flow. We stayed a solid two hours and had virtually no incidents. There will be no more red dye in our diet, that's for sure! Poor guy, we were just setting him up for failure every single day. It was in his vitamins, his toothpaste, everything. I see a difference in Harris as well but it's much more pronounced in Walker.

My parents came for a visit, hallelujah! The boys are both just so excited they can't stand it. Hayes is learning to be excited but still a little clueless.

Walker has it figured out.

He ADORES my dad. It's so cute. The last couple of times they've come, their flights have gotten in at different times because my mom is working out of town right now. The first thing he says to my mom is, "Where's KB???"

Hayes' first train ride.

Does the guy behind my mom look like he's posing for this picture??

Walker with his beloved KB. He would never have sat on anyone else's lap.

Are you kidding me with that hat??

Aaaaaand, I'm a boy mom.

Soaked from the sprinkler, driving a train through dirt. Love it :)

Gratitious pictures of Hayes are always fun.

He was giving his nurse this enormous grin, right before she stabbed him with a needle. Bless his sweet heart, it was the last thing he expected. I am thankful to have vaccinations but hate them all at the same time.

I am going through the pics on my phone and just seeing what all pops up.

Here is what our house looks like a good portion of the time. If you can imagine high pitched screaming, that will make it more authentic. Yes, they're in their pj's....isn't this how you wind YOUR kids down for bed?

I think it's a nice touch that Walker is moving so fast he's a blur and there's also laundry in the chair.

Hayes looks like this when all that is going down.

It's a healthy mix of concern, surprise, and interest, I think.

This is what it looks like when toddlers use toilet paper.

Walker had a mysterious accident and hurt his foot. I'm 99% sure it involved jumping off the couch. He's basically fine but it supposed to wear a boot on it till it heals. His life is so cushy right now, I think I need a boot in my size.

Pre "no-red-dye" there is NO WAY he would have chilled out like this.

Harris is on a maze kick. He's proud of himself.

That's all we've been up to. No news is good news, I guess. I have a riciulous story about a lesson I learned in humility but this post is plenty long enough. I'll save it for another day.

This is a verse I've read randomly numerous times over the past few weeks and it popped up AGAIN recently on a sermon. Haggai....really? How many times do you hear people talk about Haggai?? Think I'm supposed to get this message.
Now this is what the Lord Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways.
Haggai 1:5