Lessons Learned the Hard Way

I only read two blogs regularly: It's Almost Naptime and Kelly's Korner. The first one is both hilarious and inspirational (and has a great post today) and the second is just sweet, and there's lots of discussion of parenting. Kelly's Korner is having a link up of your best parenting advice and since I love to read other people's, I thought I would share mine. Since I'm a total rookie that just wings it 95% of the time, my advice has nothing to do with discpline/actual child rearing. I'll leave that to someone else.

My all time favorite advice, especially for new moms, is to cut yourself some slack. Your life will NEVER be like it used to be and the sooner you let go of the vision that it will return to normal, the better. My kids are still so young, maybe you regain some of that as they're older, but somehow I doubt it. Your life now revolves around keeping a little person (or three) alive, and you probably want to nurture, feed, and maybe even teach them along the way. That's all consuming and it's irrational to think you could accomplish the things you used to accomplish before you had kids. So just let it go and move on.

The other thing I learned the hard way is not to overschedule the day. It's all about naptime and snacktime and if you try to run "just one more errand" and push those things back, you will regret it. And so will whatever unfortunate store you're in. I think you can plan on doing, in one outing, about 1/4th (or much less) of what you could do without your kids and it will take 3 times as long. That's just how it is. I'm pretty sure that changes as your kids get older, but who knows. By then you have to take them to sports or whatever else, so maybe you just exchange one time drain for another.

Along the same lines as above, learn how to say no. If going to that birthday party/church event/whatever makes you stressed at the thought of scheduling it all, then just say no. I have had to miss plenty of things I'd like to attend but your mental state and your kids' stamina has to dictate the pace of your family life. Our pace is slower than some but that's how it is. It's important for our family to be home most nights of the week and not to have back to back events on the weekends. Really, one thing a weekend is plenty for us. Tom's whole morning on Sunday is church, and naptime takes all afternoon, so our one family day is Saturday. We're not going to spend it shuttling around to numerous different things, regardless of how much I might like to be there.

That's all I have. I'll be reading other people's blogs to see what to do about strong-willed toddlers. And the verse below makes me laugh every time I read it. Clearly, the Lord knew it was the nature of dad's to tease their kids. I have no idea why they do that, but they all do. Harris tells Tom, "Don't poke the bear, Daddy!"

Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Camp is Awesome

Harris has been going to a little camp from 9-12 again the past two weeks. It's completely saving my mornings right now. Walker is generally pretty relaxed and easy to manage when he's by himself. And for those of you that saw my facebook post the other day, I said GENERALLY, not constantly. :) He has his moments. But just having one to focus on and knowing the other one is safely and happily wearing himself out playing is so much easier. And another perk of camp is that Harris comes home with garbled stories every day about what happened. Last week, they went to chapel and "learned about a sad man in the desert who didn't have babies." Tom's guess was Abraham. I have no idea. I asked Harris if they sang Father Abraham, because you can't teach that story without that song, right? He looked at me funny while I was singing it and told me he hadn't learned it. I think he just wanted me to stop singing. Today he told me his friend wouldn't "MOVE OUT OF THE WAY." There are several little boys in the class and they all must think bathroom words are hysterical, because Harris has been saying them and collapsing with giggles. I had to threaten some dire consequence (that I don't even remember now) if we heard him say it again or if his teacher heard him. I asked his teacher the next day how he was and Harris piped in with "I didn't say poopy head!" He was sweating that one, I guess.

I'm feeling a smidge better. I can make it through the mornings which is all I really have to do. I'm pretty done by about noon and worthless for the rest of the day, but that's ok. The Lord is definitely providing for me because when I absolutely have to function, I can. I am so thankful that I'm not working this time around. Being able to nap each day is a huge blessing and I take full advantage of it. I remember dragging through work every day and just wanting to collapse. It's so nice to be able to go at my own pace this time.

Harris talks on the phone to my mom pretty often. This is him lounging in a chair before church one morning. Do you think this is how he's going to look as a teenager??

The look on his face is because I was taking his pic. He actually requests to talk on the phone. And I know Walker's shirt is too little. He didn't leave the house that way. Walker is playing with his own telephone, one of his all time favorite things to do. His other favorite thing is to brush his teeth. This is one I didn't see coming because he used to fight it so much I dreaded bedtime at the thought of having to deal with it.

He's politely asking me to take the lid off his toothpaste. Anytime we can't find him, he's snuck in the bathroom and is trying to brush his teeth. I normally let him do it as long as he wants to. Toothpaste (non-fluoride, just in case anyone is concerned) is the cleanest/least destructive form of entertainment that he likes. And he's also started bringing me books to read. I think having Harris out of the house for awhile lets him focus on things he likes to do instead of being caught up in whatever Harris is doing. He only wants to look at books as long as there's some activity associated with it, but that's ok. Better than nothing.

And since Tom's been getting into the tri-athalon world, he's been wanting a road bike. Because they are RIDICULOUSLY expensive, we decided to look around the house for things to sell in lieu of just going and buying it. I sold things on ebay, craigslist, and a consignment store and we made more than enough to pay for the bike, and don't miss any of the things that are gone. I normally like to give things away and don't want to sell things we could be using to bless others. This was for a specific expense though and it feels good to know he has what he wants without just blowing money on it. In case anyone else is saving for something, people will buy anything on ebay! I listed things I thought there was no way someone would want, and it all got sold. Anyway, so he has his bike and can give back the one that was very generously loaned to him. Thank you Peter and LeeAnn for helping us out!!!

And on a random note, my spell check just picked out both ebay and craigslist as unidentified words. I thought they were pretty standard by now. Regardless, that's all I have for now. I should go get Walker out of his crib, where he's been calling for DAD-EEEEEEEEE for the last several minutes. I only left him in there b/c he still hasn't gone to sleep, but at this point I guess it's too late. He's going to be bummed when he sees it's me and not Tom. He's probably just running on fumes at this point. Nothing better than a toddler with no nap.....

For in my inner being I delight in God's law. 
Romans 7:22

ANNOUNCING.....

Baby Goolsby #3, arriving in February 2012! Tom and I are super excited to meet the new little person!

This isn't my actual ultrasound. I'm too lazy to go scan it in. Our baby is much more photogenic than this one. And appears to be more well behaved also.

I'm only 8 weeks but wanted to go ahead and let everyone know so I can explain why I've fallen off the face of the earth recently. I'm dealing with morning sickness and I've dropped the ball in LITERALLY every facet of life. So I owe an apology to all my friends for unreturned phone calls and emails, cancelled dinners, missed events, and the list goes on. I'm sorry.  Looking forward to resuming normal life in a few weeks :)

And I should give Tom a huge shout out. He has done everything lately. Laundry, dinner, entertaining the troops, bathtime, bedtime, grocery shopping, in addition to a full time job. Thank you Tom!!!! He took over when I completely abandoned all my duties. The boys would have survived on cheese sticks and veggie straws without him. Walker sort of does anyway, but that's a story for another day.

My parents are here right now helping and that has been wonderful. They took the boys out all morning and are currently with Harris at Chuck E Cheese. Harris was so excited to see my mom he ran and gave her a huge hug and was fighting back tears. That sweet boy is so happy to have them here. I am too. It's given me time to rest and adjust my attitude. I have been grumpy, negative, whiny.....I'm sure everyone is really starting to pity Tom in all this. Rightfully so. When I found out I was pregnant, I was in total disbelief. I was 100% convinced that we weren't going to get pregnant and took probably 15 tests before I believed it. I didn't have any symptoms and just didn't "feel" pregnant. So once I finally believed the tests, I immediately got concerned that there was something off about this one because I felt so normal. Well, there are definitely symptoms now and we are so excited about this addition to our family. It's just important to keep this in perspective and let things go for awhile to just make it through the next few weeks. Speaking of letting things go, my floors are really.....special. The 5 second rule is not allowed in our house right now. Walker dropped a veggie straw and I nearly dove across him to get it before he snatched it up and put it in his mouth. That was the fastest I've moved in 2 weeks.

We are just so excited to see this person that the Lord has given to our family. Walker and Harris could not be more different and I know this little one will have its own little personality and steal our hearts just like our sweet boys have. When people have found out about this baby, everyone comments about a girl. We would love a girl. I would adore getting sweet little pink things and having some estrogen in our house. But we prayed about this baby for MONTHS. The Lord answered our prayer in a unique way that I didn't even notice until Tom pointed it out to me. This child has been prayed over and asked for more times than I can count. We know that the Lord has chosen this baby before creation and this child was made just for our family. We will cherish this life and be are so thankful to be this child's parents, boy or girl.

But I am dying to find out. I don't do surprises and the suspense is killing me :)

Anyway, apologies again. I promise to get it together in my 2nd trimester. And this was Tom's father's day gift. I found out the day before and totally shocked him with the news!

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
Psalm 139:13